and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
