I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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