You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
