idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
