Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
