i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
