You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
