Are we in a gay sports bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
