your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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