I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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