no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
