Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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