Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
