Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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