started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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