Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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