I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
