WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
