fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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