Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
