who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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