OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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