butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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