i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
