Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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