the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
