are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
and you said cock pushups were impossible
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
