You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize