did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
