Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
