This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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