I'm really into asian looking animals
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize