I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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