we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
