Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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