# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
where are my eyebrows?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
