so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
