I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
id be glad to
one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
