yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
