I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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