When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
