Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize