he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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