I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
