I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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