oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
