Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I need moral support for this bender
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I love you. Go after that dick
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
