I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
