is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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