Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
