WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
id be glad to
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
