I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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