The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
