dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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