idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
