Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
