I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
