I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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