It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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