No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
