ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
