Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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