I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
