This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The air was thick with penises
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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