i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
