Im at strip club and am horny
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
