would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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